S and X

That looks a little risque doesn't it? But it's not, it's the first letters of the names of the two little kids we were asked if we wanted to adopt. Yep....I said adopt. We were approached with two legally free children (not from our foster agency, from the state) and asked if we wanted to be an adoptive placement. After weeks of indecisiveness (and praying and praying) we finally decided no. Remember me talking about big decisions---Ya, this was one of them! She is 5 yrs old and He is 3 yrs old. We met them and they are really cute and sweet. The little girl is a spittin image of Kaylin. Seriously. Freaky! I think that may have had a little to do with our decision making. When I think back on John and Kaylin I have fond memories and think of all the fun, loving times. But when I see this little girl (who has a lot of the same issues as Kaylin) I can't help but think of how hard it was. And it was hard. Everyday. Me and Sean both decided we don't want that again. This just wasn't a fit. As much as I wanted it to be, I just couldn't say yes. My heart aches for them to find a home and I pray for them everynight. Some of you may be thinking how can you say no, believe me I'm having issues with this picking and choosing stuff (remember my post about crying while making foster decisions? And prayer is sure coming in handy) but honestly at this point in our lives we have to. I have to believe there is a plan for us. And I am listening and waiting patiently for it to smack us in the face. :)